Wednesday, January 20, 2010


This picture was taken 57 years ago. Mom and I were, well, a certain age.

Inez M. Shields (nee Weber) died two years ago this coming March.

We had a long stormy relationship. There were a lot of valid reasons for that most of the time, but now she's gone and oddly, I only seem to recall those moments when we laughed, there were quite a few. The other times, the bad stuff, it's over and doesn't matter so much anymore.

It would have been better if I could have opened my mind a bit to understand enough of life to comfort her better at the end of it. I don't know how to make up for that and I'm afraid it's too late now.

See you soon.

Sunday, January 17, 2010


Penny was old when I got her.Her knees and hips were half on the way to gone and I think her eyes were already starting to fade. Penny's story wasn't a bad one. She grew up with a woman who loved her but then her person got too old to take care of Penny and she was neglected. After Penny lost her person things got worse. Thankfully, someone called Old Dog Haven who rescued her and made her well again.Somehow I found Penny girl - lucky day for me. She came to my home and has done far more to ease so many broken parts of me than I have ever done for her.

There is an inevitable day I know is now too close. Penny's sight and hearing are pretty much gone, She startles easily and sometimes senses things that just aren't there. She does not recognize the cats, maybe thinking they are raccoons coming after her food. She struggles when rising and when lying  down. I know she hurts.

The thing is,I have not yet arrived at that moment, imagining my life without her.

God should have given one tenth of the heart and soul of her to humankind. She stands ready to forgive any smallness of spirit,any less than noble action.

She is a whole complete soul, only waiting to go home.